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Missing our loved ones is difficult at any time.
And at this time of the year, when everyone else is out partying, celebrating and having fun you are left feeling numb, empty and sad. Struggling with grief this Christmas
The first year can and usually be the most challenging and you might just want to run away from it all and hide. That’s normal and shows you of the love you have for them.
The empty chair, their smile, their love and their little quirks.
Where you are on your journey through grief can depend on what might help, but then grief affects us all differently, so just go with what feels right for you.
There are a few things which might help you or might not.
· Find Comfort in Your Memories: Cherish the good times you had with your loved one. Share stories and memories with friends or family who understand your loss. You might see a flicker of a heart warming memory that may make you smile or cry with joy at the times you shared.
· Self-Care: Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself some extra nurturing and a pamper such as a soak in a bubble bath and snuggle up in bed in your fluffy pj’s a good book and a hot choccie
· Acknowledge How you Feel: It's okay to feel sad, angry, or lonely. Allow yourself to experience feel and express these emotions. It is part of your grieving process
· Connect with nature: Pottering in the garden, a walk with friends, some cold-water dipping or a visit to the nursery to purchase some colourful pansies or primrose to brighten up your patio or window box. Plant a tree or shrub in memory of your loved one. Light a candle in their memory
· Create New Traditions: Before they died you may have had certain traditions which you can continue if it feels comfortable. You may decide to be creating new ones which can bring you a sense of renewal and peace.
· Create a memory box: Gather photos, letters, ticket stubs, holiday souvenirs, special mementos into a beautiful box which could be decorated to reflect them.
· Put pen to paper: Write a Christmas Card to them and place it on your mantlepiece. Or write them a letter unloading your thoughts and feelings. Don’t worry about the format or spelling just write from your heart. You could place this in the memory box or burn it with a prayer to send the message to heaven.
· Reach Out for Support: Lean on friends, family, or support groups. Sometimes talking about your feelings with someone can be incredibly comforting and healing. They may be treading on eggshells around you not knowing what to say and will feel a sense of relief when you talk openly and share how you feel.
Maybe you do something else instead which works for you. Feel free to share as it might help someone else.
Christmas can be a bittersweet time but remember that your grief is a testament to the love you shared. It’s okay to have moments of sadness amidst the celebrations.
Whatever you feel like doing or not doing is ok.
Only you know what is right for you and don’t let anyone tell you different.
When you are ready to ease your struggles, I am here to support you with your grief and loss at Christmas, and all through the year with my Grief and You program.
We will focus on your individual feelings, needs and situation. I will walk beside you through each step guiding you as you navigate the depths of sorrow and pain.
Book your complimentary online discovery call with me, at a time and date to suit you without obligation. I am here for you.
Andi Barker Celebrant and Wellbeing Practitioner
Timely. Thank you